Have you ever told yourself:
“I’m overreacting.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“I should be over this by now.”
“I’m probably just too sensitive.”
What if those thoughts aren’t helping you become stronger?
What if they’re teaching you to distrust yourself?
In this episode of The Inner Pickle Podcast, I explore the hidden pattern of self-gaslighting—the habit of minimising your emotions, doubting your instincts, excusing poor treatment, and continually blaming yourself.
Many people who appear strong, resilient and capable on the outside are silently overriding their own feelings and intuition. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, exhaustion, confusion, poor boundaries and staying in relationships, workplaces and situations that no longer feel right.
In this episode we explore:
✔ What self-gaslighting is
✔ Why highly capable people often do it
✔ How childhood experiences can shape this pattern
✔ The connection between people-pleasing and self-abandonment
✔ Why anxiety is often a message rather than the problem
✔ How to rebuild trust in yourself and your instincts
✔ The difference between true resilience and emotional suppression
If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, second-guessing yourself, or feeling disconnected from your own needs, this conversation is for you.
HIGHLIGHTS
00:47 What gaslighting originally meant
01:48 What self-gaslighting looks like
02:13 Minimising your emotions and experiences
03:17 Why some people always blame themselves
03:56 How self-gaslighting keeps you stuck
04:20 Ignoring your emotional guidance system
05:09 Taking responsibility for poor treatment
06:00 A real-life example of gaslighting
07:11 Why we stay too long in unhealthy situations
07:49 The anxiety, confusion and numbness it creates
08:09 The difference between resilience and self-abandonment
10:13 Where self-gaslighting comes from
10:48 How narcissistic relationships create self-doubt and cause self gaslighting
11:19 Childhood experiences that teach emotional invalidation
13:44 Why resilience can become a survival strategy
14:18 How to start changing the pattern
15:48 Step 1: Stop blaming and shaming yourself
16:05 Step 2: Notice when you’re minimising your feelings
17:06 Step 3: Process emotions and find your voice
18:18 Reconnecting with who you really are
19:18 Shift from “I’m overreacting” to curiosity
20:16 Toxic workplaces and trusting yourself
21:02 Rebuilding self-trust and self-belief
22:04 Closing thoughts